When you think about placenta, because let’s be honest, you
think of it all the time, you imagine it in the magical, mysterious world of
childbirth. People mention it in the medical and veterinary field, but you
don’t really hear much about it in everyday conversation. That’s the way life
should be. That’s the way I would have preferred life to remain.
But I’ll tell you what happened instead.
One day, a 72 year old woman slipped and fell face first
into a slimy pool of sheep afterbirth. This isn’t really that unusual – we are
in New Zealand, after all, which has more sheep per capita than any other place
in the world. Now that’s a way to go down in the record books. Anyway, when the
woman stood up and brushed herself off, she glanced into a mirror and
exclaimed:
“I look 35 again!”
Well it didn’t take long for the entire country to hear
about it (small islands, everyone knows everyone’s great grandparents). Soon enough
the celebrities got wind of this placental power, and using the remarkable
technology that we have today, spread the news to the USA, Europe, and Asia,
and a new business was born.
Using the afterbirth of every form of livestock in this
country, pharmaceuticals and beauty products are made to help people look
younger. While it sounds relatively interesting, I assure you that it is rather
disgusting.
It’s not disgusting because of the end product, but because
at one point down the line, someone, somewhere, had to process that fresh
placenta, right out of the animal and straight off the farm. And that someone
is me.
Don’t ask me how I got the job; ask me why I took it.
“Because I didn’t know any better.”
While the start was a bit of a horror show, the job has
gotten easier, if not better. I’ve gotten to know the factory pack house
setting: long hours, repetitive work, heavy lifting, and constantly on your
feet, not to mention mastering the art of breathing solely through my mouth.
More importantly, I’ve come to respect the people that do it - those people
that work full time, rather than temporary travelers looking for an extra buck.
My first job in NZ has proved to be the worst in my short
career. Hopefully I don’t beat that record any time soon.
When someone offers you money, make sure you get details
before signing a contract.
Now some photos to show the fun I'm having after work is done:
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| Wound Before |
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| Wound After |
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| Thank You Cookies that Sara and I ate :) |
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| The river in Ypuk |
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| Hilton, the guy we're staying with |
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| Yellow shorts! |
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